Lent

I could write about what I'm giving up for lent this year - I'm giving up quite a few things, actually. But the details don't matter. I was looking forward to Lent this year, and found that "giving up" some everyday things isn't actually that hard... when you have a desire to make room in your life for something More.
The following prayer has been humbling to me as I pray it, and helpful for me to take on the right spirit of the lenten season.

Litany of Penitence

Most holy and merciful Father:
I confess to you and to the whole communion of saints in heaven and on earth, that I have sinned by my own fault in thought, word, and deed: by what I have done, and by what I have left undone.
I have not loved you with my whole heart, and mind, and strength. I have not loved my neighbors as myself. I have not forgiven others, as I have been forgiven.
Have mercy on me, Lord.
I have been deaf to your call to serve, as Christ served us. I have not been true to the mind of Christ. I have grieved your Holy Spirit.
Have mercy on me, Lord.
I confess to you, Lord, all my past unfaithfulness: the pride, hypocrisy, and impatience of my life.
I confess to you, Lord.
My self-indulgent appetities and ways, and my exploitation of other people, I confess to you, Lord.
My anger at my own frustration, and my envy of those more fortunate than I, I confess to you, Lord.
My intemperate love of worldly goods and comforts, and my dishonesty in daily life and work, I confess to you, Lord.
My negligence in prayer and worship, and my failure to commend the faith that is in me, I confess to you, Lord.
Accept my repentance, Lord, for the wrongs I have done: for my blindness to human need and suffering, and my indifference to injustice and cruelty,
Accept my repentance, Lord.
For all false judgments, for uncharitable thoughts toward my neighbors, and for my prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from me,
Accept my repentance, Lord.
For my waste and pollution of your creation, and my lack of concern for those who come after us,
Accept my repentance, Lord.
Restore me, good Lord, and let your anger depart from me,
Favorably hear me for your mercy is great.
Accomplish in me and all of your church the work of your salvation,
That I may show forth your glory in the world.
By the cross and passion of your Son our Lord,
Bring me with all your saints to the joy of his resurrection.

--Adapted from the Book of Common Prayer

I'm back.

I decided to start blogging again. We'll see how it goes. :) Even if I have nothing else to say, I have plenty of things to share... like this, from the prayer book I've been using:

"Late have I loved thee, O beauty so ancient and so new; late have I loved thee: for behold you were within me, and I outside; and I sought you outside and in my unloveliness fell upon those lovely things that you had made. You were with me, and I was not with you. I was kept from you by those things, yet had they not been in you, they would not have been at all. You called and tried to break open my deafness: and you sent forth your beams and shone upon me and chased away my blindness: you breathed fragrance upon me, and I drew in my breath and I do now pant for you: I taste you, and now hunger and thirst for you: you touched me, and I have burned for your peace." --St. Augustine

Kids just grow up too fast!

Conversation with my niece today...

Me: Oh, I want to keep you.
Adele: You can't!
Me: I can't? Who do you belong to?
Adele: (points to Carra and Jesse) Them... but you get to keep her. (points to mom)
Me: So they get to keep you forever?
Adele: (nods, then) No, they don't... they keep me while I'm a kiddo, then when I grow up, I'll come to here to you!
Me: That'll be fun!
Adele: But I'll have to go to a wedding on the way.
Me: Whose wedding?
Adele: Mine!
Me: Who are you going to marry?
Adele: .... Someone. ...A guy.
Me: Oh...
Adele: And I'll have a baby when I'm ready. Then my tummy will always be soooo big when I come here!

Summer Reading...

My schedule is getting less full (yay!) and I've been settling into some nice summer routines of enjoying the weather, enjoying people, enjoying books, and just not rushing all the time. Some of the good books I'm diving into:
"Three Cups of Tea" - the popular account of a mountain-climber who started building schools in poor villages in Pakistan. So many people recommended it, and now I see why... it blends well with what I've been learning about other, similar cultures (i.e., majority Muslim), and really makes me want to go there. (Or, just go back to Palestine.)
"Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light" - I started this a while ago, but it's one I have to read slowly, in small portions. It details her efforts to follow a "call within a call" and I think (haven't got that far yet... remembering something from the jacket cover) her experiences of great spiritual darkness during some of the most fruitful years of her ministry. What I admire most and prayerfully study is her complete devotion to Christ, seeking to quench His "thirst for love and for souls." She was always my hero. Still is.
Ok that's all for now, but I have a long list yet to come... Oh, and of course, the continuous stream of newsletters from the Middle East pouring into my gmail inbox. I half-jokingly have been telling people that I'm not aware of anything that's happening in the world unless it's in Kankakee or Palestine. But I love both of those places, so I'm content to focus on them for now.
Peace.

Another good one...

So, visiting Thomas & Jeanne's church in Milwaukee, we sang this song and I instantly loved it... Especially considering my recent experiences in Palestine, the words of this seemed to express so well the cries of my heart.

Let your kingdom come and liberate
Every prisoner of greed and hate
Let it fill our hearts
With love for you
For our neighbors and
For our enemies too

Let your kingdom come and end all war
And the pain and grief of the oppressed and poor
Let all violence be finally put away
Let the streets find safety so the children can play

Let your kingdom come and let cool streams flow
Let your fields flourish clean wind blow
Let your children save instead of destroy
Let every creature thrive free in health and joy.

Let your kingdom come and every knee bow
To the king who was, will be and is now
And let justice roll, as the rivers run
And let death give way to resurrection!

(Brian McClaren and Tracy Howe)

FYI

Just in case anybody was not aware of this:
I LOVE MY JOB!
(I feel compelled to mention that frequently, because I realize that not so many people are blessed to have a job that they absolutely want to be doing.)
Today I cleaned my room (yes, a small miracle), and had plenty of time to think... a couple times I recalled points in my life where I almost moved away (once during college and once after), and I just thought: Wow, how different my life would be if I had done that! But right now, it's hard to imagine that anything could be better than this... just staying here, in the place I call "home" and pursuing the dreams God has given me, in the simple, everyday opportunities... without necessarily attempting anything grand. (Well, I guess it depends on your definition of grand...)
So yes, back to the point: I love my job because I get to work with poor people, and that is what I've wanted to do for a long time. It's perfect.

I like this song

I don't know whose it is or where it came from, but the choir sang this at church Sunday and I really liked it. (And anymore, especially at this particular service, it is really rare for me to find a song that I can really sing all of the words sincerely!) But these are good words...

Who is this child asleep in the manger?
Tender and mild, this intimate Stranger?
Recklessly, wildly loving a dangerous world
Who is this light invading our darkness?
Glorious might, the sun rising for us.
Conquering night, He captures the hardest of hearts
We sing:

This is our God, living and breathing
Call Him courageous, relentless, and brave
This is our God, loving and reaching,
Scandalous mercy and mighty to save.
Hallelujah! This is our God!
Hallelujah! This is our God!
Hallelujah! This is our God!
Sing praise.


Who is this One who will not condemn us?
Why would He come to shoulder our sentence?
Nothing we've done will keep Him from giving us grace.
Who is this One we watch and we're speechless?
God's only Son embracing our weakness.
He overcomes all death and he frees us to live
And we sing:


This is our God, suffering and dying.
Call Him the Hero redeeming the lost.
This is our God, love sacrificing,
All that is holy, accepting our cross.
Hallelujah! This is our God!
Hallelujah! This is our God!
Hallelujah! This is our God!
Sing praise.